My understanding of family is changing. This shouldn't be surprising considering my political perspective. However, as a young woman "of age" by my society's standards, I feel that I must actively reevaluate what my relationships mean and where my responsibilities lie within them. I do not intend to seek out a man to marry, provide for me, and father my children within the next ten years. It's just not a consideration. Sure, I may head to the alter (or town hall...), he might have a better salary (or not), and I might get knocked up (hoping this REALLY is not the case), but I am not in pursuit of these things.

Right now, I am part of a committed, monogamous relationship. My (heterosexual, male) partner and I are parents-to a tiny Italian Greyhound. We are considering leasing an apartment together next year. And as we look at our options of places to live, I am beginning to develop a realization that this will be my home, and he and our pup will be my family.

If my goal was a traditional, nuclear family like the one I grew up with, I might ask myself what my expectations for moving in together may be. What are our goals as "a couple"? And even more specifically, how will we handle finances? How will we divide housework? It's funny how it's not politically incorrect to raise these questions, even for some one like me. What I'm realizing though, is that these are not my actual concerns. Maybe they're important for our relationship to work, but not in the sustenance of a family.

When family is the goal, I am still reaching for answers to a set of broader questions. In the past the average heterosexual couple would never have to consider these sort of issues. But in contemporary times where Susie Q. is the breadwinner and canines trump kiddies, we cannot assume that the same "formula to success" will work for us when we define success so differently.

I'm suggesting that family is a network of love, and home is where you house that. Where do our responsibilities lie within this situation when we throw out the traditional model? In my case, will I actually experience financial freedom after accepting this new definition of [a childless, cohabiting] family and home? Is it too early to claim family and home for some one my age? What do my partner and I owe to each other? Does family equate to settling down?

At this point, I am dealing with a lot of curiosity as a young person with a lot of options ahead of her. The path in front of me is definitely an alternative one, and it's going to take awhile for me to learn how to navigate it, especially without good examples to look to.