Goals and Dreams

For our sophomore advising colloquium, I'm supposed to come up with answers to this set of questions:

How do you perceive of your relationship to dance?
Do you feel like a maker? an athlete? an artist?
How if at all has this identity shifted since coming to OSU?
What are you excited about studying?
Where do you dream of being in 5 years from now?
What are some of the obstacles you feel are standing in your way?


Okay, so... Here's my attempt to answer this. (This probably will turn into some sort of rant)

My relationship to dance varies. I like to move. I like the feeling of propelling through space. I like turns and leaps, which reflects that. Sometimes I'm discouraged. Postmodern dance both frustrates and inspires me. Same for ballet. I haven't found my niche yet.

If I had to choose between maker, athlete, and/or artist, I would without any doubt choose artist. I've never considered myself a maker. I generate material through improvisation. Choreography doesn't come so well. Dance is athletic, I guess. I go to the gym for that sort of thing though. I don't like to categorize myself as an athlete.

If anything, I am a human. That stands first.

I have always been a human, and always have been. My identity hasn't shifted too significantly since I came to university. I discovered improvisation. I'm excited about studying video dance. And exploring new things in general.

In five years I'll be 24. Right now, I hope that I'll be making plans to settle down, or already be at that point. At 24, I want stability. It's tricky though. I mean, I can see myself married and teaching dance on top of another part time job. Ideally I'll be involved within some performing arts venue or art gallery. I want to promote art to the public, and make it more accessible. At the same time I would love to perform if I had the opportunity. I'm not sure if that's something I want to strongly pursue though.

I don't believe much will stop me from teaching dance. As far as gallery work/art-dance promotion goes, I think I just need more experience. Maybe an internship. Performing professionally though... being human might stop me. I want a family one day. I want a house. And a dog. And a guy who ISN'T a dancer. I'm not sure how I would juggle those lifestyles.

I don't feel that ambitious. Maybe one day on a whim I'll head out to some auditions. I'm not going to make that my lifestyle though.

Dance on Film

I'm currently enrolled in a history of art course-"Introduction to World Cinema". So far these past few weeks we've gotten through primitive film, and begun to study silent films. Because HA260 is a survey course, the content covers narrative films only. (Although my professor claims we might touch on documentaries) This disappoints me, because I have a keen interest in avant garde film.

Visual art is so developed. It's been around for centuries. I love learning about the way we (all humanity) refined art over times. There are so many interesting patterns and quirks to it. These patterns apply to who we are and why we are that way. They say so much about our race. Art.

Dance hasn't been considered a fine art for very long. Neither has cinema. The two are fairly comparable really. Primitive cinema was a science. Technology beginning to develop. Early (European) performance dance included court dancing, and ballet. Standardized movement with little room for expression. Now, I'm not about to discredit early works of film or dance as worthless. I admit that I believe modern cinema and dance to be emotionally complex.

Tonight I went to a showing of various international dance works on film. Although theatrical in their creation, the shown pieces were performed on site. They were filmed on location. They were beautiful.

I watched them with a different perspective. The film itself was art. The dance itself was art. Together they were magnificent. But could they have gone further?

Tonight was probably my second time watching a dance film. I am an active member/student in the dance community. Is this genre of dance-related art underdeveloped? Why are these films considered avant garde?

Primitive film evolved into silent film because directors included elements of vaudville (popular entertainment at the time) on camera. Of course this was of the American taste. In France they began shooting at the opera. The audiences wanted to see something substantial. So they got that. They were presented stories from around the world (especially in the beginning-anything exotic was to be fancied). Cinematographers realized that their cameras had no reason to remain stationary, and neither their actors. The camera lense-our perspective- began to change.

We still generally watch dance on the stage. Occasionally you get site-specific work, but that's tricky and your intentions have to be different. The body moves in so many fascinating ways, so why must I watch it move from the mezzanine? Or the balcony? Row 52, seat 3? I want close ups. I want to see the undulation of the spine. Sweaty brows. Rising chests. Action-sped up and slowed down. I want depth.


I'm currently a dance major, history of art minor. I have a strong interest in dance on film. Tonight I was inspired.

Raining-not pouring

One lonely (rainy!) night-in for me. Phil's out at a party. (I usually spend the majority of my Friday evenings with him, lame as it sounds) I painted my toenails and watched "The Girls Nextdoor" on E. Of course it's trashy, but it did keep me occupied for a couple hours until I became distracted by the current temperature of my room. It's like a sauna in here! Both my windows are open too... at least it's calm tonight.

***

Tomorrow, I'm probably going to spend on homework. That includes conjuring up motifs and scores and reading a good chunk of my cinema textbook. I might also try to get through most of "Island Possessed", a memoir by Katherine Dunham. You could say I'm trying to pave a dance-scholarly path for myself.

Each class in the department attended an advising colloqium. Those alway freak me out. There are so many classes I want to take this winter! I've got

1. Modern technique
2. Ballet technique
3. Repertory w/ Esther again
4. Composition Topics (Another class with Esther!)
5. Notation II (this one's required)
6. Video Documentation
7. GEC-which I haven't decided on yet
8. Maybe West African class, or extra ballet technique, or modern with bebe, or...

Eight classes is a lot to keep track of. I'm taking six now. Eight classes would mean 21 credit hours? And even then... I was considering taking the other History of Art survey for my hypothetical minor... GAH.

That said, our "advisor" also brought up studying abroad among other things. My mind is so busy with decisions to make.

Too much has happened since the last time I've written.

First of all, I earned my driver's license only a few days before going back to school. I still haven't driven by myself, but that's bound to happen some time this weekend while visiting.

Classes are okay-better now that I dropped that awful Environmental History. Modern technique with Esther allows me to work on those funky handstands everybody seems to like. The West African tidbits are great too. She's a swell woman. Ballet's alright. More challenging. Melanie never ceases to make me chuckle in that class. She's so blunt! Love her any way. Notation's been a breeze so far. (Then again I haven't started any of the projects yet) Composition is SCARY and probably the most difficult "dance" course I've ever taken. The concept of weight studies happens to be so interesting. Coming up with material for Vicki Blaine to analyze gets me shakin' in my boots. Oh yes, and Intro to Cinema-a joke.

I was cast into Esther's piece for Dance Downtown. This is so exciting for me. The movement is thrashy with a lot of improvisation. (so far) Show's not until May though... It's really wonderful to have the opportunity to have so much time with Esther. I feel that within the department, there aren't many on the faculty who get a bigger picture of you and your dancing. I work with Esther five days a week. Again, swell.

So, I'm extremely busy again. I get little two hours breaks occasionally. Right now I'm looking for a job so I can either (a) take classes this summer or (b) travel to Africa to dance over the summer. Yeah, just the prospect of money... I'm broke and my pops keeps on giving me heck about it. I'm tryin'!

Edit to come-I'm falling asleep<3