Phooey

I'm blindly following a road to... somewhere. Okay not blindly. Two cliches in one sentence is too much for me. But to be honest, I'm having another mini-crisis-because "oh my gosh what if my hypothetical career in dance notation doesn't work out?!" It's silly.

My new big "maybe" scenario lies in ballet costuming. (I think?) A bit of google-ing revealed to me the steep decline in tutus over the years. I can't make a living making tutus now. Imagine that.

It helps to write this stuff down, because only then can I really perceive how ridiculous I sound.

***

This summer has turned into one big episode of rediscovering who I am. Note: rediscover. You see, I haven't really changed too much, although I've grown up a little more. I still love the same way and I still think the same way. It becomes challenging though when you're faced with new obstacles. (f.e. driving, living with your parents, living away from your boyfriend, etc.) I'm managing though.

***

The temperature dropped so quickly this afternoon that by dinner time I had to change into long pants. Clouds were rolling in and out so that the sun had no chance to reheat the earth. The cool weather tempted me to ride my bicycle around the neighborhood. I felt free for about a half and hour.

The dark clouds looked so beautiful as I cycled up and down the few intersecting streets. I could spot the rain only a few miles away because of the hills-the one wonderful part about Cincinnati.

I figure if the land was flat I could still navigate to about anywhere. Those hills though. I think I would lose my breath before making any destination.

***
I figure I'll include a driving update:

I still need to schedule behind-the-wheel lessons. And I'm still dreading those. The anxiety of driving hasn't left me. No surprise.

In reaction to this, I've tried to pick up a few more "masculine" talents. I have worked with mallets and crowbars and hammers and chainsaws and really big shovels. And a wheelbarrow. My attempt to make up for my "weakness" may or may not work. At least I will gain a few more life skills that will ultimately boost my independence.

***

I highly recommend the website, creepypasta.net if you want to wake up in the morning from nightmares.


Love,
Miss Independent (also known as Courtney)